Many humans live in an unknowing and mindless daily routine as they struggle to survive in poverty while others, equally mindless, have an abundance of material things and are disconnected from themselves, each other and the natural world of the earth. This is the great tragedy of human life, the only species with intellect, intelligence, knowledge, spiritual values and dignity and human energy are all largely wasted on trivial, useless pursuits.
Fr Shay Cullen, PREDA
Once upon a time… there was a simple understanding that to sing at dawn and to sing at dusk was to heal the world through joy. The birds still remember what we have forgotten; that the world is meant to be celebrated…
Terry Tempest Williams
Gratitude makes sense of our past, brings peace for today, and creates a vision for tomorrow.
Melody Beatie
At this time of year, it is difficult not to be overwhelmed by the joy of the dawn chorus. Within twenty minutes of my home, there are woods, open fields, and the great river. This morning just after 4 a.m., the blackbird was up first, announcing the new day. This was followed by countless species including the larks, tits, finches, buzzards, kites, even crows; the performance reached a crescendo ninety minutes later, as the sun brought its first rays onto the trees, open spaces, and waters in this beautiful river valley.
There was a time where I started into each day hardly noticing any of this. This was in the later stages of a progressive, terminal illness of which I was oblivious. Addiction is `suicide by instalments´, the freaky thing being that, as the addict progresses towards the cliff edge, he or she is increasingly unable to realise that an illness is at play.
Having crashed and burned in my early forties, I was lucky to discover a band of merry fellows who had a little more experience in the transformation process from `active addict´ to `useful, happy members of society´. Being desperate, I was, for the first time in my life, willing to do as I was advised, whatever that would take. These people were role models for me; they appreciated each new day as a gift and were determined to make the best of the twenty-four hours ahead.
There is a tradition in this fellowship; newcomers are encouraged to ask more experienced members to coach them through the Twelve Steps of recovery. The idea is to find somebody `who has what you want´, and to ask them to be of service in this manner.
My first such coach, the term used is `sponsor´, set a few conditions for our arrangement. Among them was to write a daily list of ten things for which I was grateful. The trouble was, at that time, I was full or resentment, regret, shame, guilt, and self pity. Not much room there for gratitude. However, my desperation propelled me to do as instructed, and I can clearly remember sitting each evening, staring at a blank page in my open journal, pencil in hand, gritting my teeth, hating my sponsor and all the world.
After some time, a curious shift took place. The repetitive list ( a reason it should be written by hand, not just copied and pasted!) of things such as `waking up in a warm bed´, `food in the fridge´, `money for next month’s rent´, etc.) began to have an effect. The pencil began to move more easily each evening and, unbeknownst to myself, I must have been subconsciously on the look-out during the day for new things to add. My field of vision began to expand, beyond the self-pity an its allies, to see the opening lilies, smell the fragrance of the lilac, and hear the call of the cuckoo.
This was indeed a miracle. In hindsight, it is evident that, at the beginning, I was so caught up in a sense of entitlement, and sore that the universe had not kept its side of the (my) bargain, that gratitude was impossible. This `gratitude list´ was, and is, an ingenious method of springing the trap of entitlement.
There can be no transformation without gratitude. For gratitude leads to appreciation, taking us from hubris to humility, and enabling us to move out of our heads into the present moment. The intent of the addictive practice in the first place was as an avoidance strategy to protect us from the present moment of the three or five-year-old, which would otherwise have been unbearable.
My good luck was that, by seeking and finding help after crashing and burning, I received a second chance to learn to deal with life, on life’s terms, three decades after engaging in what ultimately turned out to be a self-destructive workaround.
The gratitude list is not the only technique on this path to transformation. There is the surrender, the willingness to relinquish the rule of the ego, inventory, amends, daily meditation practice, service onto others, and much more. For me, learning to be grateful is a key element. When it has led us forth to appreciation, we are taken further to yet another keystone; forgiveness.
`Forgiveness offers everything I want´, begins today’s lesson in A Course In Miracles. It goes on: `What could you want forgiveness cannot give? Do you want peace? Forgiveness offers it. Do you want happiness, a quiet mind, a certainty of purpose, and a sense of worth and beauty that transcends the world? Do you want care and safety, and the warmth of sure protection always? Do you want a quietness that cannot be disturbed, a gentleness that never can be hurt, a deep abiding comfort, and a rest so perfect it can never be upset? All this forgiveness offers you, and more…..´
There we have it; peace of mind. A later sponsor of mine called it the `Holy Grail of recovery´. Once we have achieved even a fraction of this, what remains to be done is to continue to engage in the daily practice that allows us to grow, starting each new day with the `beginner’s mind´, and to pass on that which has been so freely given us to those who both need and want it.
