Learning to lead the life we love requires leadership; leadeship of self, and often, leadership of others. If you want to successfully lead others, you must learn to lead yourself. Leading yourself requires that you get to know yourself; your deepest values, aspirations, and dreams, and that mixed bag of light and shadow that makes up each and every human being.
SoberOasis will help you to successfully navigate this process, offering App-supported online and face-to-face Transformation Coaching and Mental Fitness Training Programmes. We serve individuals, families, and organisations wishing to tackle, or already in the throes of, the fundamental transformation that will take you to your desired outcomes, and one step closer to `living the life you love´.
The SoberOasis approach is strongly influenced by the principles of Positive Intelligence, developed by Shirzad Chamine and his PQ Team based in San Francisco. This `coaching from the inside out´ approach is designed to identify destructive internal mental dynamics (Saboteurs), to activate the life-affirming (Sage) powers of Empathy, Exploration, Innovation, Navigation, and Activation, and to strengthen, through Mental Fitness Training, our capacity to rapidly switch from Saboteur to Sage. PQ is an Operating System for a wide variety of applications; personal, business-realted, or family-focussed.
SoberOasis Transformation Coaching results in aligned, harmonious, accountable business environments in which sustained higher performance and more successful outcomes are achieved. We also support individuals, families and organisations in developing and executing their personal development strategies in line with their deepest values. On-site coaching is available worldwide. Pricing and availability information is available on request. Simply write me or book your initial consultation, free of charge, here.
Frequently Asked Questions
A colleague of mine once pointed out that `only from within, the hamster wheel looks like a ladder!´ A leading contemporary teacher, Eckhart Tolle tells us that the world has gone mad and, `if we have any doubts about this, simply open a newspaper or turn on the TV´.
The accelerated pace of life, at work and at home, makes it essential that we have spaces of tranquility´ for reflection, gathering ourselves, mental fitness training, recharging our batteries, tuning into our deepest selves, and re-creation´. Paradoxically, the more frantic the pace, the more we need such rest, introspection and guidance.
SoberOasis should be regarded as just such an `open space´, available to anyone wishing to achieve fundamental transformation and the resulting improvements in their business goals and/or personal lives. Having had the experience of losing my way on life’s journey, and thankfully recovering, I know how important it is to reflect, to practice self-care, and to have a working inner compass which I can consult each day to inform my decisions and review my actions. With these capabilities and resources, I now live the life I love.
In his 1997 seminal work `Anam Cara´, the Irish writer John O’Donohue wrote a section entitled: `One of the greatest sins is the unlived life´. In it, he reflected that `there is a secret destiny for each person. When you endeavour to repeat what others have done, or force yourself into a pre-set mould, you betray your individuality. We need to return to the solitude within, to find again the dream that lies at the hearth of the soul. If you allow your nature to come alive, everything will come into rhythm. If you live the life you love, you will receive shelter and blessings…..´
At SoberOasis we can return to the solitude within´, sharpening our focus on the compass of which we may have lost sight, in the turbulence of our demanding lives. I firmly believe that, in order to lead others we need to master Self Leadership. This pre-supposes a level of Self Knowledge which is not always present in today’s world. The coaching process can therefore be described asCoaching from the Inside Out´.
Like everyone, I am a mixed bag of talents, blind spots, and old beliefs which may no longer be serving me at any given time. My life has been blessed with a string of coaches and mentors who, on my request, have given me invaluable, down-to-earthguidance and feedback without which I would have found myself off track´or `hijacked´ more often than I care to think. I am intuitively drawn to these people, guided by the credibility which comes when words and actions are aligned. Their lives are rooted in the humility which keeps denial and hubris at bay. Above all, they are good listeners. When we work together, I feel the ease which comes with being seen and accepted for who I am, without judgement. These are the sober relationships in my life. It is in the spirit of these interactions that I offer my services to you.
Over thirty successful years in Leadership and International Management, I have developed the competencies, skills and tools necessary to guide organisations and individuals through phases of fundamental transformation, be it in business and/or personal contexts. As a creative entrepreneur with my feet placed firmly on the ground, I will serve you as a coach, trainer, sounding board, and guide as you shape, develop, and cultivate the life you love.
Welcome to SoberOasis!
In October 2022, a new chapter in my working life began. From 2016 onwards, I had five years leading a venture which involved the founding, ramp-up, and establishment of a psychosomatic clinic for trauma and addiction in the vicinity of Berlin. Then, in the summer of 2021, I had an accident in which several vertebrae were fractured, resulting in me being laid up for several months.
This accident caused serious injuries which could easily have left me in a wheelchair for the rest of my life. Thankfully, this was not the case. With the wonderful moral and professional support provided me over fifteen long months, the convalescence has been a full success. In August 2022, my return to full physical fitness was formally confirmed by my medical team, allowing me to embark on my new role as a Mental Fitness Trainer and Transformation Coach at my newly founded company, SoberOasis.
In a previous chapter of my working life, after almost twenty years in management in the corporate environment, I went freelance in 2004 as a Change Management Consultant, passing on to clients many of the excellent methodologies and techniques learned on the job during my years as an international manager in a leading-edge high-tech environment.
Now my focus is on transformation, not change. What is the difference between the two and why is transformation necessary for the attainment of our true potential? These questions are equally valid in the business and personal contexts, the two areas of focus at SoberOasis.
One of my major observations from this seven-year period in Change Management was the fact that, while training programmes did have an initial motivational effect on individuals, teams, and businesses, most of this new energy fizzled out quickly, within a matter of months, having been engulfed and neutralised by the general stress, chaos, and disharmony found in any typical business, community, or family. In the light of such sobering results, or lack thereof, I began to wonder how truly sustainable changes could be brought about.
Some of the answers were to be found in the last place I would have thought of looking. They resided within me. My own path of transformation was prompted by the recognition, in my early forties, that I had a progressive fatal disease, namely alcoholism. Upon reaching out for help in the recovery community, and finding it, the realisation slowly dawned on me that the solution to my problem lay not `out there´ in the cruel, unfair world, but within myself.
As the process unfolded, it became clear that, while I initially blamed outer circumstances for my plight and the resulting misery, the only aspect I could really change was my own attitude. Recovery was going to be an inside job.
`Transformed people, transform people.´ – Richard Rohr
While we have many words which mean `to change a thing into a different thing,´ transform implies a major change of the essential nature of a thing as distinguished from its matter.
My life has been transformed in that I no longer blame myself, the world, its people, and circumstances for whatever challenges and setbacks which inevitably come my way as the days, week, and months unfold.
I see that my liberation lies in that split second between impulse and response, a gap which is oblivious to many of us before we begin our inner work. As we become mentally fit, learning to slow down, to ground, and to gather ourselves, the gap seems to become wider, affording us greater opportunity to consciously express our free will, in choosing how we respond.
Whether the morning sky is blue or grey is not my choice; my response is. Will it be rejection, resentment, or anger as opposed to gratitude, curiosity, or acceptance? These are some of the many choices within my remit.
Having to choose, having to respond (as opposed to react) can feel like a burden at first; as we get better at stepping up to our responsibility (our response) towards ourselves, others, and outer circumstances, we discover the power of this liberation, and the fact that, by means of our choices, we have indeed the capacity to choose our reality.
In the coaching context this is equally true. Many successful professionals require a deep internal crisis to discover that `the hamster wheel looks like a ladder only from the inside´. The question of the purpose of life raises its head and the never-ending hassle of trying unsuccessfully to reach ambitious goals as a leader is tackled in the context of self-leadership which, in turn, presupposes self-knowledge.
This is where `coaching from the inside out´ comes in.
What are my values and how do my dreams and aspiration line up with those values? What saboteurs still have the power to hijack me, causing unintended damage to self and others? How can I learn to intercept them and turn down the volume of their voices?
On the affirmative side, how can I gain a perspective which grants me the willingness to see the gift in any given situation, no matter how bad it may seem in the moment? What powers reside in my true essence as a human being? How can I tap into and cultivate these (Sage) powers of empathy, exploration, innovation, navigation, and activation?
And finally, how can I attain and maintain a level of mental fitness such that improved `mind control´ allows me to develop an early-warning system which enables me to recognise destructive dynamics within my self, well in advance of their manifestation, and to switch instantaneously from Saboteur to Sage with ease and competence.
This `gift´ attitude and these mental abilities allow me to bring the best version of myself to any challenge. Astounding amounts of energy are freed up by quieting the saboteurs of the wandering mind, as if the handbrake had suddenly been released. And the realisation that the solutions reside within my own thinking and actions allows me to step out of the thankless, futile role of trying to control people, circumstances, and outcomes.
To arrive at this conscious, life-affirming state, we must overcome the fears, – sometimes whispered by the saboteurs through the dark crevices of the psyche –, that leaving our comfort zone is not an option. This is a major challenge we all face. It never goes away. As Joseph Campbell said: `The cave we fear to enter holds the treasures that we seek.´ It has always been so, as far back as our species has been recording our evolution.
Slyly, change is sometimes presented as the preferable option. Let’s optimise a few processes or adopt the latest management philosophy. These may be, in and of themselves, not bad options. They fall short, however, if chosen as an alternative to doing the essential inner work.
The caterpillar which settles for change at the expense of transformation might become a superior caterpillar; it will, however, never know the joys and freedom of flight. Our immanent capacity to live the life we love is our birth right. Transformation is the only process by which it can be fully realised.
In our helter-skelter world, there are very few spaces where we can gather ourselves, unwind, and take a calm, sober look at what is going on in our lives. We seem to be addicted to being constantly busy with one activity or the other. Indeed, one could say that our society is collectively addicted to `busyness´. This results in us losing sight of the fact that we are `human beings´, not human `doings´ or `havings´.
The addiction dynamic is a major obstruction to the free flow of life energy. Whether substance-related or behavioural, it leads individuals and organisations into patterns that cause harm and prevent the full utilisation of our potential.
Addiction permeates human activity in manifold forms throughout the world. Alcoholism, addiction to other drugs, workaholism, sex, gambling, and screen addiction, are but a few of the common manifestations. Over the ages, oases have emerged where, through mental fitness training and deep transformation practice, recovery, equanimity, and peace of mind can be restored. SoberOasis aims to serve as such a resource in today’s hectic world.
As a coach, I help clients find out what really makes them tick and how deeply held values can best be turned into action. In this process we may also identify and remove any obstructions of the free flow of life energy. My coach, Shirzad Chamine, refers to these as Saboteurs. Mental Fitness enables us to move from Saboteur to so-called Sage mode, in which our values, life-affirming capabilities, and aspirations are manifested. The work comprises 20% insight and 80% daily practice.
The prerequisite for Transformation is Mental Fitness. This can only be achieved and maintained through regular practice. Exercises are provided by means of a daily App-based Mental Fitness Programme. This can be used by individuals or within groups (families, communities, organisations, etc.) to build a common framework in which improved performance, sustained health and lasting harmony can be realised.
As a trainer and educator, I share the experience and knowledge accumulated while dealing with my own life challenges, and the on-going means by which I continue to cultivate living the life I love. I have accumulated a broad array of practical tools and methodologies over a 40-year professional career in leadership and management. We can draw upon these resources, as applicable, for reaching the outcomes you desire.
As a veteran of classical hands-on project management, I prepare, design, and initiate projects with clients which are subsequently handed over to them after the establishment of the knowledge and skills required has been successfully completed and transferred to the client or client organisation.
Among my earliest memories is that of lying in my pram beside a river with the sound of the flowing waters filling my being. I knew in that moment that I was connected in some great manner. While I forgot this in subsequent years, it never fully disappeared, waiting for me to return. It is then no surprise to me that Mother Nature has played a major role in my journey of transformation.
The addictive dynamic is much more widespread than we would care to believe. It leads us to fall for the illusion that `I have no choice´. It manifests at the level of the individual, the family, the organisation, the nation, and our species as a whole. It can be, but is not confined to the consumption of mood-altering substances.
Co-dependence and addiction to work, thinking, sex, power, validation, gambling, and online devices are sometimes much more difficult to detect and address. They are, however, equally malignant in that they result in extreme loneliness, misery and even death. Manifesting on the physical, emotional, psychological, ecological, and spiritual planes, among others, it infuses every thread of human existence.
Recovery is a process of transformation. It is the (re)birth of the realisation that, with every new breath, `I have a choice´. Not always comfortable yet always liberating. It requires discipline, daily practice and leadership from within.
Since 2003, recovery has been my life and my passion. I moved into the NGO arena, first in sustainable forestry, and then spent time on the ground in Mozambique leading a small-scale project which made compost out of trash. Since 2016 I have been actively involved in the field of mental health in Europe, founding and operating a psycho-somatic clinic for children and adults near Berlin, with a focus on addiction and trauma. I have now handed over the reins and have embarked on the next stage on my work, writing, coaching, training, and teaching. Recovery works best when we pass it on. Education, creative expression, and leadership in the field of transformation; these are my passions.
My many hobbies include gardening, cooking, jogging, cycling, photography, reading, and percussion. I spend as much time each day out of doors, cultivating a sense of awe in the beauty of nature.
`We are not human beings having a spiritual experience; we are spiritual beings having a human experience.´ — Pierre Teilhard De Chardin
