Weekly Reflections

An Oasis is a good place to pause and reflect. Each of my weeks provides ample inspiration in terms of topics; from coaching sessions, conversations with family and friends, my own reading, or one of the many podcasts I absorb when on the move. A topic will resonate with me early in the week and I get great pleasure from the iterative process of drafting, revising, polishing, and finalising each essay. Then comes the selection of a suitable photo, usually a product of yet another creative hobby of mine. I invite you take a little time out, to create your own six-minute oasis, find a comfortable chair, and read. You will hopefully find some inspiration from or a degree of identification in these Weekly Reflections. If you do, feel free to subscribe to this section. You will then receive future installments directly by email. Also, feel free to share the link among your circle of friends and associates. Finally, feedback and comments are always most welcome.

EnJOY!

Community

Self-compassion

In a process akin to peeling an onion, we work our way to the realisation that, while others may be the ones to activate feelings that challenge us as we make our way through the day, the source of our suffering is to be found not `out there´ but within us, namely in our emotional dependencies on people, places, and things to help us feel worthy and lovable. Suffering occurs when I take up a stance of resistance to the pain. Pain is inevitable, suffering is voluntary. If only this, or if only that, then I would feel OK. In Dr Berger’s words, Emotional Sobriety is a shift from `I’m OK if´, to `I’m OK even if…..´.

Community

Reconnecting

Neglect occurs when the fundamental needs are not sufficiently met for longer periods of time or our cries for help go unheard or, indeed, are met with an angry or punitive reaction. Stress activation and the resulting dysregulation become the central dynamic for daily survival. Stress becomes the dominant pattern in both our waking and our sleeping hours. In situations where the parenting is consistent, predictable, and nurturing, the stress response systems become resilient. They grow in proportion to our overall development and needs. A healthy sense of self emerges…

Mental Fitness

Ritual

My daily walk along the Rhine is a blessing. On reaching the water, I pause to reset my compass for the day. Inspired by the wealth of ritual which has evolved over millennia among indigenous cultures in North America, known as the Medicine Wheel, it comprises greeting five elements: the Four Directions of the compass and the Vertical Axis. First, taking a few deep breaths and feeling into the soles of my feet, it involves facing east, bowing while silently reciting; `East – Air; every breath a new beginning…

Community

Supersedure

The fact that our species has reached such heights in the creation of beauty, — the music of Mozart, the paintings of Monet, the poetry of Rumi, etc — has produced great scientific innovations, and is filled with stories of loving-kindness to each other in the most challenging of circumstances, reminds us that the human potential for love is boundless. Why do so many of us operate below our full potential and what can be done to rectify this? How can we restore the abundance of self worth to ourselves and others once it has been impaired?

Community

Selfless Service

In the stillness of my own heart, the feast of Easter has taken on a special meaning over the years. This feast is always a welcome reminder to reflect upon and develop this meaning even further. When exploring the contents of the great spiritual teachings, I am always keen to discover the metaphorical meaning of the events described therein. Did a great 33-year-old prophet really die brutally on a cross and rise from the physical death three days later? Perhaps. In my view, the meaning and spirit of the story have more power than the, often disputed, facts…

Self-Care

Intention

When I am out of sorts, – restless, irritable, and discontented – it invariably turns out that, for reasons often beyond my grasp, I have fallen off the beam of conscious awareness and end up suffering from the illusion of disconnection from Source. The result is a combination of feelings: anxiety, overwhelmed, disconsolate, and forlorn…

Mental Fitness

Guilty!

He has stopped running now, got exhausted, ran out of steam, and arrived at a turning point where a decision had to be made. Was it going to be a continuation of the No to life, or an embracing of the Yes. He chose the latter. Turning around to face what he had been avoiding all along, he recognised the wound, the original sin inculcated in his childhood self and later self-perpetuated when he became his own prison guard on death row. The accusation of having been guilty of causing another’s unhappy demise…

Community

Safe At Last

In what could be described as the echo chamber phenomenon, this fear of apparent danger is activated when no such fears are pertinent to the current situation. Today’s situation provides the activation for fears which no longer apply. They have their origin in days long past. These phantoms, these fears from the past will have a hold over us until we address and resolve them. Until that happens we suffer from neurosis. `Neurotic means repetition of archaic ways of protecting ourselves from what no longer truly threatens us´, writes David Richo in his masterful `When Love Meets Fear´.

Mental Fitness

Astronomical

Finding a free bench in the park outside the village, I settled in for a longer period just before the eclipse reached its climax at ten minutes past noon. Now, totally relaxed and in awe of what was happening, my heart began to fill with gratitude. What a privilege to be able to experience something so superb! As I watched in awe, two contrasting ideas came to mind. The first concerned vastness and infinity. What an amazing notion, to consider that our solar system is at the edge of a galaxy which is only one of between 100 billion and 2 trillion galaxies in the observable universe…

Mental Fitness

Religious Abuse

Over time, as we heal, we will grow in compassion. This is extended to our biological parents and other caregivers who may have also experienced religious abuse, been hampered in their own experience (or lack thereof) of spirituality, and did not have access to the wide array of recovery resources available to us today. Some of these are innovations, such as trauma therapy, which have been developed in our lifetime. Finding a Power of our understanding, a `Power greater than ourselves´, is essential for long term recovery and real inner transformation….

Business Performance

On Setbacks

My translation of the statement; to supply me with prestige, security, and the like… into the trauma-informed language of the 21st century would draw attention to every child’s needs for ample acknowledgement, attention, affection, and an ongoing felt sense of safety. For those of us who came up short in any of these areas, our Inner Child may, even decades later, continue to attempt to draw our attention to the necessity of healing the woundedness, the childhood trauma. Until these cries for help are heeded and acted upon, we will remain in bondage to impulsive, somatically driven reactions, the coping patterns of the helpless child. This is a form of mental gridlock.

Community

Living On Purpose

Imagine reaching the end of your life and realizing that the person you became was not the person you could have been. Not because you lacked talent, intelligence, or opportunities. Not because life was unfair, but rather because you had spent decades being driven by forces you could not see, chasing goals that were never truly yours in the first place, diligently sitting in the orchestra, following the baton of the conductor, playing a symphony you have never truly comprehended, playing a tune that is not your own. Many great teachers have pointed out the necessity of carving out our own unique path in life, not following a path that has already been trodden…

Leadership

Parents

My paternal grandfather died long before I was born, when my father was a boy of 14. The fact that my dad died when I was a boy of 16 would appear to be the flip side of that coin of synchronicity. He was in his 52nd year and struck me, then, as being a very old man. The luxury of the blessing of enjoying an adult-to-adult relationship with both my daughter and son is something I consciously cherish. Again, through stories and hearsay, I conclude that my paternal grandfather was not emotionally available to his eleven children, of which my father was the second youngest…

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