Weekly Reflections

An Oasis is a good place to pause and reflect. Each of my weeks provides ample inspiration in terms of topics; from coaching sessions, conversations with family and friends, my own reading, or one of the many podcasts I absorb when on the move. A topic will resonate with me early in the week and I get great pleasure from the iterative process of drafting, revising, polishing, and finalising each essay. Then comes the selection of a suitable photo, usually a product of yet another creative hobby of mine. I invite you take a little time out, to create your own six-minute oasis, find a comfortable chair, and read. You will hopefully find some inspiration from or a degree of identification in these Weekly Reflections. If you do, feel free to subscribe to this section. You will then receive future installments directly by email. Also, feel free to share the link among your circle of friends and associates. Finally, feedback and comments are always most welcome.

EnJOY!

Mental Fitness

Rest

There was a time in my life when I was proud of the fact that I slept, on average, less than five hours per day. These were the years marked by my conviction that mountains could indeed be moved, if only the correct attitude and sufficient amounts of will power were applied. As an ambitious, competent executive in a hurry to make it to the top of the pile in international management, I had little tolerance for notions such as rest, enjoying the moment, or `being´ rather than `doing´. I could do all of that later…..

Mental Fitness

Discipline And Authority

When we were children, we were `disciplined´ – by our parents, our teachers and the priests of our church. This usually involved some form of physical, emotional or spiritual punishment. Punishment sometimes spilled over into abuse, continuing a cycle of suffering which has been passed on from generation to generation since the initial stirrings of humanity.

Leadership

The Diabolical

A recent experience has had a lasting impression on me. The East Bank of the Rhein has been my home now for almost two full years. The closest bridges in the vicinity are the North Bridge in Bonn, over 10 km upstream and the South Bridge in Cologne, roughly the same distance downstream. These distances are a blessing, resulting in an oasis of river meadows which are relatively free of noise pollution. There is a pedestrian ferry about twenty minutes’ walk downstream from home. I had taken it once and had gone further downstream to explore the forest of the Surther Bend, which turned out to be verdant and tranquil. On this latest occasion, I crossed the river with the explicit intention of taking a closer look at the bank directly opposite where I live, the bank I have been keenly observing on a daily basis since I first moved here.

Mental Fitness

Every Breath A New Beginning

I live on one of the great European rivers. It is, indeed, a blessing to live within five minutes’ walk of the flowing torrent, one of the main arteries of our beautiful continent.

Mental Fitness

Truth And Compassion

While attending a silent (vipassana), week-long meditation retreat many years ago, my upper back and shoulders filled with so much pain on day two that I decided to ask for a short meeting with the facilitator. My intention was to inform him that, due to the excruciating pain, I was going to drop out early and go home…

Mental Fitness

Ego

When working with people who have decided to make major changes in their lives in the context of giving up behaviors which, though clearly detrimental to themselves and those they love, they seem to have great difficulty in leaving behind on a permanent basis, the phenomenon of the ego invariably arises. These people often find themselves baffled by their own destructive behaviors which, unlike many other areas of their lives, seem immune to the direction of their often very substantial willpower.

Business Performance

Nomen est Omen

On looking up `sober´, in addition to the more obvious meaning of `not being intoxicated´, a second definition is listed, namely; `based on sound reasoning or information´ as in `a sober assessment of the situation´.
Webster´s gives us two definition of oasis, as follows; `A fertile or green area in an arid region (such as a desert)´ and `Something that provides refuge, relief, or pleasant contrast´, as in `the small park is a welcome oasis amid the city’s many factories´. The roots go back to an Egyptian term wḥꜢ.t with the meaning; `fertile area in the desert´.

Mental Fitness

`Playing God´

`You need to quit playing God!´ This is what I heard more than once in my early years of recovery from alcoholism. It precipitated an undifferentiated jolt, like an earthquake deep under the sea bed, although the meaning of the statement, and the associated possible consequences, went way over my head. Perhaps I did not want to understand.

Community

Apocalypse Now

Generally speaking the meaning of this (nowadays emotive) term, with its roots in Old Greek (apokalyptein – “uncover, disclose, reveal,” from apo “off, away from” + kalyptein “to cover, conceal,”) refers to `drawing back the veil´ in order to see things differently, perhaps even moving from `perception´ to `vision´, and hence from `illusion´ to `truth´. This rang a bell with me when I remembered what Wayne Dyer used to say about `not seeing the world as it is, but rather as we are´

Business Performance

Daily Structure

The issue of boredom came up in a conversation during the week. A young friend was complaining about it, saying that he was plagued by the long days in lockdown, feeling depleted and guilty about how he was squandering his time. Only later in the day, long after we had parted, did it hit me that the real issue was apathy, a topic not often discussed.

“Apathy is the belief, `I can´t´. It is the feeling that we cannot do anything about our situation and no one else can help. It is hopelessness and helplessness.´´ Thus writes David Hawkings in his magnum opus `Letting Go´

Community

Going Upstream

Imagine a village in the foothills of a major mountain range, a village where time has appeared to stand still, bisected by a river, always cool from the glacial melt, framed on each bank by snowfields in winter and bright, iridescent, buzzing meadows in summer. Life was carefree and easy in this village until a strange phenomenon arose. First, a lone body washed up on the edge of the pool right in the middle of the hamlet. The inhabitants were perplexed and shaken. This had never happened in living memory. The corpse, which could not be identified, was respectfully buried in accordance with the cultural mores and the villagers returned to their daily routines…

Men's Circles

Alexithymia

A case was described whereby a struggling client — a very successful man by all the criteria of our society; self-made millionaire, respected in the community, handsome, fit & healthy, seemingly intact family life, vibrant social network, etc. — was having difficulties in his “empty nest” marriage because he felt that his wife was not displaying sufficient willingness to have sex with him whenever he (apparently often) wanted. “Oh boy! “, I thought, “this is not new to me.” Thinking back to my VIP (Very Important Patrick) days, when I was proud of the fact that my average working week surpassed sixty hours, when, as an executive in a multi-national corporation, I racked up many hundred thousand air miles, it was clear to me that I, too, had fallen prey to the “sacrifice indulge syndrome”…

Community

Totality

In her book, Arendt notes that, by stoking tribal nationalism, any nation of people can be persuaded that it is surrounded by “a world of enemies”. This paranoid state then makes way for the ideology that states that a fundamental difference exists between this people and all others. It claims its people to be unique, individual, incompatible with and better than all others, thereby excluding the very possibility of a common family of humankind, a sisterhood and brotherhood of all humans, indeed of Creation as a divine whole. For such a ploy to succeed, the innate human sense of community (among peoples) and belonging (to the wider sphere of the natural world) needs to be smashed…

Weekly Reflections

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