Be Kind!
On one such engagement he was holding a symposium for corporate executives on the topic of leadership. He began by asking those members of the audience who had grandchildren to raise their hands. Most of the hands went up. He then asked them at exactly what point of the day they switched from being loving grandfathers (most were men) to being CEOs, incumbents of corporate power, who made largely rational, short-term yet wide-reaching decisions which ultimately undermine the future of our grandchildren and subsequent generations…
Peace
As we make progress in establishing, maintaining, and increasing Mental Fitness, we can apply this three-step process in real time, thereby nipping the exertions of the Saboteurs in the bud, before damage occurs. Since we are not saints, we will not succeed in this every time. With practice, however, we will gain traction in thwarting their efforts while increasingly applying the Powers of Sage in navigating our lives. In cases where we do get hijacked, the return to balance (ease) and making amends will happen more and more swiftly. This is a measure of our newly attained resilience.
Loyalty
The outward focus on people, places, and things – as the presumptive wellspring of the love and sense of belonging we so strongly yearn – this erroneous attitude is a major cause of subsequent suffering in later life. The process of recovery is primarily a process of inner work on self. We do not recover to change our parents, our partners, or the world. We recover to grow in awareness. We recover to develop a new pair of glasses through which we view the world more objectively. And we recover to establish and practice new behaviours. In short, we do the work of recovery that we might be changed…
Family System
In doing this work, we cannot dodge the old wounds and thus re-feeling the original pain. That is the difficult part. In exploring my family dynamics, it is important to acknowledge the loving kindness that pervaded my family of origin, in conjunction with the systemic dysfunction described below. Many precious gifts were created and shared through this kindness. Wounds are part and parcel of the human experience. It was not for lack of kindness that wounds were inflicted. It was, rather, lack of awareness…
Cowardly Lion
When I apply this approach, it quickly becomes clear that the accusation of cowardice is false. There have been many occasions and situations in life where great courage on my part had been the essential factor in pulling through. For any teenager to accompany his terminally ill father in his final journey takes courage. Getting out of town – in my case emigrating at the age of 19 – takes courage. It takes courage to ask for help, to do the work of recovery. It takes courage to set healthy boundaries. It takes courage to follow one’s bliss. It takes courage to share such insights as those found in my writings..
Gifted Child
Recent discoveries in neuroscience, especially regarding the plasticity of the brain, have provided the welcome reassurance that these default scripts can be modified and even overwritten, right though to old age, correcting the earlier erroneous assumptions that we were forever stuck with what formed in the first seven years…
Abundance
It is no wonder, then, that contrary to the initial intention, those of us affected become less and less vibrant over time, as if the life were being sucked out of us. Obsession supplants imagination, compulsion replaces creativity, fear displaces joy, connection makes way to alienation, and the `being´ in `human being´ begins to wither on the vine. Recovery becomes possible when we hit bottom, when we become so sick and tired of being sick and tired…
Inviolability
Many of us carry a bag of different lies around with us until we begin to take stock of our lives. We may, therefore, have two or three main Saboteurs which are the cause of most our problems. We each have a unique Saboteur profile. Just as it is necessary and beneficial to handle more overt losses by grieving in a healthy manner, – rather than avoiding, numbing, and dissociating – we learn in recovery to practice loving ways to grieve our childhood losses and the alienation of Self…
Fellowship
For me, the key question is what impact these achievements have had on our happiness. Are we as happy or even more happy than our predecessors? I have my doubts. Rather than get into a competitive debate about today and the `good old days´, my interest revolves around one important question: In a world which values freedom above all other human characteristics, are we really free?
Emotional Sobriety
As these recovery fellowships mature, we are now moving to the `both, and..´ perspective with respect to exploring the scientific and spiritual aspects of the root causes of addiction and in drawing upon modern and recently developed resources to augment the Twelve Steps as we implement the solution. These resources may include Jung’s work on Archetypes, Internal Family Systems (IFS) therapy, Trauma therapy modalities such as EMDR and Somatic Experiencing, PQ Mental Fitness, Inner Child work, Kinesiology, etc., to name only a few…
