An Oasis is a good place to pause and reflect. Each of my weeks provides ample inspiration in terms of topics; from coaching sessions, conversations with family and friends, my own reading, or one of the many podcasts I absorb when on the move. A topic will resonate with me early in the week and I get great pleasure from the iterative process of drafting, revising, polishing, and finalising each essay. Then comes the selection of a suitable photo, usually a product of yet another creative hobby of mine. I invite you take a little time out, to create your own six-minute oasis, find a comfortable chair, and read. You will hopefully find some inspiration from or a degree of identification in these Weekly Reflections. If you do, feel free to subscribe to this section. You will then receive future installments directly by email. Also, feel free to share the link among your circle of friends and associates. Finally, feedback and comments are always most welcome.
EnJOY!
We’re going on holidays! What excitement this generated in us as children in the 60’s and 70’s! In my case, the experience was extreme because I remember living the 50 weeks in our comparatively dreary home town of Limerick, in anticipation of our two week summer holiday in beautiful Ballycroy, in the Wild West of Ireland.
`Suffering is only letting go of things that don’t work anymore. On the other side of suffering is belief.´ Dan Coyhis, Mohican Writer & CEO Wellbriety Inc. `Pain is an integral part of
The question as to why our culture, in which we were so deeply rooted and steeped, was infected by the punitive, the terrible, and the vengeful to such a extreme degree, is a topic which would go way beyond the scope of this essay, so it may need separate treatment at a later date. The fact was, that, as a young boy, I lived in fear of God. I had been clearly instructed, mainly by teachers in my most tender years – all members of religious orders – that a list of all my sins was being accurately kept and, if I were good, I could make it to heaven, most probably by way of a stint in purgatory, a somewhat lesser form of hell. On the other hand, if I were not good, I was sure to go to hell.
All addictive patterns have in common the issue of control; the obsession with establishing, retaining, and losing control. The drinker steps into the pub `for one´ on the way home and finds herself still at the bar at midnight, the family at home long forgotten. The workaholic swears that he will move down a few gears after the current project is handed over, only to wonder, years later, what happened to such resolutions. What is required is the surrender to the impossibility of control. This is a bitter pill to swallow for anybody brought up to `get a grip´ on life and, when things get difficult, to `pull yourself up by your boot straps´.
When growing up as the fifth of ten children, the word `responsibility´ took on a certain meaning for me. My associations included; burden, sacrifice, bondage, criticism, being held to account, judgement, damnation, and other uncomfortable experiences. I decided there and then that, one day, I would be free of all this nonsense…
I first became aware of the Hopi Nation in 1982 when the film Koyaanisqatsi, directed by Godfrey Reggio with music by Philip Glass, hit the big screen. Created between 1975 and 1982, the film is an apocalyptic vision of the collision of two different worlds – urban life and technology versus the environment. There are several meanings to the word `ko.yaa.nis.katsi´ (from the Hopi language). These include; 1. crazy life, 2. life in turmoil, 3. life disintegrating, 4. life out of balance and, 5. a state of life that calls for another way of living.
By turning toward the soul, the heart, and the Self, and attuning to our inner intelligence and guidance, we can discover and commit to our unique path of transformation and healing, deepening our experience of intimacy, connection, creativity, and vibrancy. Having crossed the threshold from `no´ to `yes´ to a fully-lived life (the state of `courage´ in David Hawkins’ map of consciousness) we grow and expand through the higher frequencies of courage, neutrality, willingness, acceptance, reason, love, and joy, towards peace and enlightenment.
When confronted by challenging situations, we sometimes retreat into our comfort zones by means of reflex rather than reflection. In such cases, the protagonist is not aware of the process until it has taken place, whether we have scooped the child for the train tacks, ahead of the oncoming train, or removed our fingertips from the hot plate before substantial damage has occurred. Furthermore, many people have reported experiencing, in such situations, levels of strength and determination way beyond the normal.
Being `apart from´ or `a part of´ is the choice we face each and every day, threatening to tear us apart.
This may come as a surprise to some, especially since we have all probably felt a strong yearning to belong throughout the different stages of our lives. What, then, would propel us to seemingly rebel against our deepest desires and decide to live `apart from´? The answer may lie in the survival strategies and associated patterns of behaviour which were adopted during the formative years of childhood, developed to best deal with those early difficult challenges `among the crowd´ – in the family, at school, among peers, at work, and in society as a whole.
At some point over the years, one particular habit began to evolve. I use it to gather myself in a world full of drama and distractions and to consciously connect with ultimate reality, the Source. It has become part of my daily routine, practiced usually during my morning walk along the great river…..
Imagine a village in the foothills of a major mountain range, a village where time has appeared to stand still, bisected by a river, always cool from the glacial melt, framed on each bank by snowfields in winter and bright, iridescent, buzzing meadows in summer. Life was carefree and easy in this village until a strange phenomenon arose. First, a lone body washed up on the edge of the pool right in the middle of the hamlet. The inhabitants were perplexed and shaken. This had never happened in living memory. The corpse, which could not be identified, was respectfully buried in accordance with the cultural mores and the villagers returned to their daily routines…
A case was described whereby a struggling client — a very successful man by all the criteria of our society; self-made millionaire, respected in the community, handsome, fit & healthy, seemingly intact family life, vibrant social network, etc. — was having difficulties in his “empty nest” marriage because he felt that his wife was not displaying sufficient willingness to have sex with him whenever he (apparently often) wanted. “Oh boy! “, I thought, “this is not new to me.” Thinking back to my VIP (Very Important Patrick) days, when I was proud of the fact that my average working week surpassed sixty hours, when, as an executive in a multi-national corporation, I racked up many hundred thousand air miles, it was clear to me that I, too, had fallen prey to the “sacrifice indulge syndrome”…
In her book, Arendt notes that, by stoking tribal nationalism, any nation of people can be persuaded that it is surrounded by “a world of enemies”. This paranoid state then makes way for the ideology that states that a fundamental difference exists between this people and all others. It claims its people to be unique, individual, incompatible with and better than all others, thereby excluding the very possibility of a common family of humankind, a sisterhood and brotherhood of all humans, indeed of Creation as a divine whole. For such a ploy to succeed, the innate human sense of community (among peoples) and belonging (to the wider sphere of the natural world) needs to be smashed…
