An Oasis is a good place to pause and reflect. Each of my weeks provides ample inspiration in terms of topics; from coaching sessions, conversations with family and friends, my own reading, or one of the many podcasts I absorb when on the move. A topic will resonate with me early in the week and I get great pleasure from the iterative process of drafting, revising, polishing, and finalising each essay. Then comes the selection of a suitable photo, usually a product of yet another creative hobby of mine. I invite you take a little time out, to create your own six-minute oasis, find a comfortable chair, and read. You will hopefully find some inspiration from or a degree of identification in these Weekly Reflections. If you do, feel free to subscribe to this section. You will then receive future installments directly by email. Also, feel free to share the link among your circle of friends and associates. Finally, feedback and comments are always most welcome.
EnJOY!
The results of recovery emerge as we do the work, one day at a time; surrender, abstinence, inventory, clearing away the wreckage of the past, maintaining spiritual fitness, and service. Resentment, anger and antagonism are transformed into interest, willingness and acceptance…
Then there are those of us who find, often in mid-life, that we have painted our selves into an existential corner. Having reached this dead end, change becomes unavoidable, if we are to recover our zest for life and thrive once again…
I learned the acronym HALT: Hungry, Angry, Lonely, Tired. A simple technique to become familiar with and to practice the basics of self-care. This proved to be only the portal to a whole new array of resources, all opening up before me and available for deployment, should I wish to use them…
The second envelope got me curious. There had been several items of post from Corsica since my accident there on holiday in mid-July; invoices, medical records and confirmations of payment, all of which were required in the on-going process of recouping most of my co-payments for the hospital care provided there. That professional treatment for serious spinal injuries may indeed have saved my life; it certainly safeguarded my mobility – the ability to move my arms and legs, without which life would be very different today…
`What’s that you are drawing there Mary?´
Without pausing or even looking up, Mary replied in her usual chirpy voice:
`I’m drawing a picture of God, MIss.´
`But Mary, nobody knows what God looks like´, enjoined the teacher.
`They will in a minute´, replied the child, looking up beaming…
It all happened in a matter of seconds. I had been greatly enjoying the great salty swell that sunny day on the west coast of Corsica, bobbing up and down between the 12 ft. waves. This requires successfully negotiating both the entry into the wild surf and, hopefully, a safe exit back onto the beach after the fun. It is all a matter of precise timing. ..
I began to notice things that fascinated me; the insects in Charlottesville, Virginia, were, on average, much larger than their counterparts with which I was familiar. Also snakes, which legend tells us St Patrick drove out of Ireland 1500 years ago, abounded. Or when standing on the south shore of Lake Erie looking north towards Canada, trying to imagine it freezing over in winter, I was overwhelmed by the notion…
We’re going on holidays! What excitement this generated in us as children in the 60’s and 70’s! In my case, the experience was extreme because I remember living the 50 weeks in our comparatively dreary home town of Limerick, in anticipation of our two week summer holiday in beautiful Ballycroy, in the Wild West of Ireland.
`Suffering is only letting go of things that don’t work anymore. On the other side of suffering is belief.´ Dan Coyhis, Mohican Writer & CEO Wellbriety Inc. `Pain is an integral part of
The question as to why our culture, in which we were so deeply rooted and steeped, was infected by the punitive, the terrible, and the vengeful to such a extreme degree, is a topic which would go way beyond the scope of this essay, so it may need separate treatment at a later date. The fact was, that, as a young boy, I lived in fear of God. I had been clearly instructed, mainly by teachers in my most tender years – all members of religious orders – that a list of all my sins was being accurately kept and, if I were good, I could make it to heaven, most probably by way of a stint in purgatory, a somewhat lesser form of hell. On the other hand, if I were not good, I was sure to go to hell.
The most challenging years of life are, by definition, those early formative ones. Clinical research points to the fact that the fundamental wiring of our neural networks is almost completely laid down by our fourth birthday. These networks determine our temperament, our behavioral patterns, and belief systems well into adulthood. They will remain dominant until we consciously begin the practice of rewiring, of rewriting the script – if we are so lucky to realize the possibility of doing so…
When we experience pain, whether due to current issues (a bereavement, a setback, the break-up of a relationship, etc.) or the reactivation of an old episode of pain from the past (e.g. childhood trauma), a common reaction is to want to “unmake” the pain — to make it go away. This is a very human reaction and thus quite understandable. Who wants to experience pain? However, when we learn to shift from being reactive to being “response-able” (a practical definition of Emotional Sobriety), we can accept the painful stimulus as is, and then utilise it as a cue — usually in the form of a new patterns of thinking, feeling, and taking action — which will help us move forward in a healthy manner.
“Living in the echo chamber of my childhood” is how I would describe the unfolding process. The impacts experienced today are, in some way, reverberations of the “old ideas” initially formed in childhood. It is a beckoning for attention, to address those elements — hitherto hidden — that still require healing, the progeny of which are constrictive patterns of thinking, feeling, and behaving which no longer serve me. This is where old beliefs about money once more appeared on my mental radar screen. I believe they can be traced back through the paternal line…
