An Oasis is a good place to pause and reflect. Each of my weeks provides ample inspiration in terms of topics; from coaching sessions, conversations with family and friends, my own reading, or one of the many podcasts I absorb when on the move. A topic will resonate with me early in the week and I get great pleasure from the iterative process of drafting, revising, polishing, and finalising each essay. Then comes the selection of a suitable photo, usually a product of yet another creative hobby of mine. I invite you take a little time out, to create your own six-minute oasis, find a comfortable chair, and read. You will hopefully find some inspiration from or a degree of identification in these Weekly Reflections. If you do, feel free to subscribe to this section. You will then receive future installments directly by email. Also, feel free to share the link among your circle of friends and associates. Finally, feedback and comments are always most welcome.
EnJOY!
In my case, nature has a very positive effect on my well-being, so I spend as much time as possible in the outdoors. Since childhood, I have been fascinated by all things, great and small, that can be found in the natural world. Plants, animals, rivers, skies, and all the rest; these keep me in a state of awe. The river we visit today is not the same one we saw yesterday. If we look closely enough, we can see that everything is alive, and in flux…
In the words of Marianne Williamson: ` We ask ourselves, ‘Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?’ Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It’s not just in some of us; it’s in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others´…
As a species we now stand at a turning point. With the innovations that have emerged over the past 120 years in areas such as depth psychology, neuroscience, quantum physics, imaging technology, addiction recovery, bodywork trauma therapies, and the like, we are perfectly equipped to bring about a new Golden Age of cultural evolution. We have an opportunity to create a culture that serves the needs of the people..
In the coaching context this is equally true. Many successful professionals require a deep internal crisis to discover that `the hamster wheel looks like a ladder only from the inside´. The question of the purpose of life raises its head and the never-ending hassle of trying unsuccessfully to reach ambitious goals as a leader is tackled in the context of self-leadership which, in turn, presupposes self-knowledge. This is where `coaching from the inside out´ comes in…
Dad died, the world went dark and, for a time, punk and grunge took over, The Jam, Lou Reed, and Joy Division providing the material for the crest of this wave. Through college and beyond, my tastes mellowed and broadened such that, when asked about my musical tastes today, I reply that I love everything bar operetta and Bavarian umpapa `Volksmusik´…
I am currently participating in the PQ Training Programme developed and conducted by Shirzad Chamine and his team at `Positive Intelligence´, which is proving to be very helpful to those clients engaged in resolving the Imposter Syndrome. In this programme, reference is made to `Saboteurs´ and `Sage Powers´. The programme teaches us to identify and intercept the saboteurs – the main one being the `Judge´ – , so that they no longer hijack us, to cultivate the sage powers of empathy, exploration, innovation, navigation, and activation to lead us to right action, and to learn, by means of daily training, sufficient self-command to be able to switch from saboteur to sage whenever the need arises . By means of such training, we can begin to experience peace of mind and get closer to the goal of living the life we love.
In preparing my thoughts for this essay, it struck me for the first time that the term `unity´ is embedded in the word `community´. The healing experience of recovery is a community experience. When we arrive, hopeless and apparently broken beyond repair, we are lovingly taken in by those who know our predicament, for they had been at that turning point and had overcome their state of bondage. When they helped us, all they asked is that we `pay forward´ to the next wave of those who needed the solution, that which we were so freely given..
The difference between `change´ and `transformation´ has been a subject of my contemplation in recent weeks. For many years, I considered my sphere of activity to be that of `Change Management´. This description is no longer accurate. My role could now better be described as a Transformation Coach…
When we look at what are referred to as `Saboteurs´ in the Positive Intelligence (PQ) Programme, what we are really seeing is human behaviours and thinking patterns, in and of themselves necessary for our development and survival as young human beings, which have crossed a tipping point whereby they become destructive, ultimately leading us to the opposite of our intended goals…
The first half of any human life is about `setting up shop´ in this material world of ours. In my case this consisted of finding and defending my place in the hierarchy of a large extended family, doing my best to `earn´ the physical and emotional attention that young children need as much as they need oxygen, in order to survive…
The most challenging years of life are, by definition, those early formative ones. Clinical research points to the fact that the fundamental wiring of our neural networks is almost completely laid down by our fourth birthday. These networks determine our temperament, our behavioral patterns, and belief systems well into adulthood. They will remain dominant until we consciously begin the practice of rewiring, of rewriting the script – if we are so lucky to realize the possibility of doing so…
When we experience pain, whether due to current issues (a bereavement, a setback, the break-up of a relationship, etc.) or the reactivation of an old episode of pain from the past (e.g. childhood trauma), a common reaction is to want to “unmake” the pain — to make it go away. This is a very human reaction and thus quite understandable. Who wants to experience pain? However, when we learn to shift from being reactive to being “response-able” (a practical definition of Emotional Sobriety), we can accept the painful stimulus as is, and then utilise it as a cue — usually in the form of a new patterns of thinking, feeling, and taking action — which will help us move forward in a healthy manner.
“Living in the echo chamber of my childhood” is how I would describe the unfolding process. The impacts experienced today are, in some way, reverberations of the “old ideas” initially formed in childhood. It is a beckoning for attention, to address those elements — hitherto hidden — that still require healing, the progeny of which are constrictive patterns of thinking, feeling, and behaving which no longer serve me. This is where old beliefs about money once more appeared on my mental radar screen. I believe they can be traced back through the paternal line…
