As the crack between impulse and reply widens even further, we enter the realm of responding. Here the gap is sufficiently wide for the protagonist to observe what the impulsive reply might look like, identify and weigh up alternative options, and then make a conscious decision, followed by prompt action…
In the spring before my sixteenth birthday my father had fallen ill. He was diagnosed with lung cancer and had surgery to remove most of his right lung. In those days, the prognosis for such patients was not very good, but his medical colleagues gave him `from one to thirty years´. He didn’t make the one. In the summer and early autumn months of that year, I spent much of the time outside of school hours with him, as he set out on the final stage of this life…
I have now been actively practicing the PQ (Positive Intelligence) Mental Fitness Programme on a daily basis for almost two straight years. In addition, I completed my 18 months of training as a PQ Mental Fitness Coach, gaining certification in July of this year. The support of my fellow coaches, peer group, and clients has been invaluable on this exciting adventure, and I am looking forward to more discovery, creativity, and growth in this arena in the new year. It is my conviction that this PQ Mental Fitness modality will establish itself as a fundamental element of transformation coaching in the years to come…
Then there was the question as to how the architects got the solar alignment correct, to such a degree that the Winter Solstice spectacle functions perfectly. How could they have known what to do and how to execute such a plan? Surely the people who built Newgrange had both know-how, resources, and wisdom at their disposal which we cannot even imagine today. What cosmic forces guided them in this endeavour? How can we, as humans, tap into such forces and cultivate the connection?
The chrysalis is at one and the same time a tomb, for the caterpillar, and a womb, for the butterfly. In the given situation this may not be apparent at first glance. Impaired by the lens of duality, our perception ensures that one aspect, –usually the receding to which we are so attached, – tends to dominate, and we proceed to engage in a mental struggle between it and its opposite…
My attempts were thwarted, leading me each time to obstacles, in the form of major construction sites, where large numbers of people, busily engaged in the major refurbishment of entire floors, were coming and going. I knew each time that my destination could be reached by going through the construction site but those working there were either too busy to even notice me, let alone engage with me, or if they did, would not allow me to pass through, citing safety regulations. I eventually had to turn back on each occasion. The level of my frustration was rising rapidly, since it appeared that my exertions were all doomed to fail, whatever I did. In the back of my mind, I knew that there was a way through, but couldn’t figure out how exactly to find it, with no help apparently available to me…
But just as a belief in electricity is insufficient when it comes to operating power tools, we must find a way of tapping into the power. Otherwise, the tools are useless. In my garden shed this means connecting the tools to the mains or an appropriately charged battery. The Big Book of AA contends that, for those dealing with addiction, the connection is obscured (blocked) by one of three things, or a combination of same. These are `calamity, pomp, and worship of other things´…
I wandered outside again into the yard, to enjoy the spaciousness under the vibrant sky, the brightness and warmth of the July sunshine, and the music of the blanket bog. The mood was carefree; we were all a bit tired, perhaps also hungry, at the tail end of the long day trip…
The pertinent question today is the one which addresses my degree of willingness to wake up to the reality of life as it is right now, in the present moment, to accept the mixed bag of wounds and gifts that have accumulated over time, and to embrace the opportunity to heal the old wounds while cultivating and further developing the gifts. Herein lies my free will…
When I got into the car and attempted to reverse out onto the paved lane, there was a rude awakening. The back wheels simply spun on the spot. Zero traction. There I am, facing downhill on a 15% slope, unable to reverse out. I was stuck…
As long as we are constantly hijacked by our Saboteurs, fear rules our lives and the lives of those around us. This takes place sometimes very obviously, sometimes more subtly. Fear’s toolbox contains a very powerful device that, if not addressed and relinquished, will ensure that the old order will forever rule the day. This device is denial. For many years I stewed in the juice of denial. Sara Bareilles describes the dynamic eloquently in her sublime song “Orpheus“:
Missing the world
The one you knew
The one where everything made sense because you
didn’t know the truth…..
Indeed, many of us didn’t know the truth for long stretches of our lives. Denial has an important role to play in our survival…
My general observations lead me to conclude that we are either in autopilot and react in line with the coping mechanisms and survival strategies we developed before our fourth birthday (approximately) or, having developed sufficient awareness, mindfulness, and mental fitness, we learn to pause before responding to whatever stimuli cross our paths in a conscious, loving manner – beneficial to the healing, growth, and joy of all concerned. The term “autopilot” may be considered charitable. Some would call it “sleepwalking through life” (Dr Allen Berger) or even refer to a “Zombie” existence. And of course, this is not an all-or-nothing phenomenon…
So, it was really telling when, in a recent yoga lesson, we went though balance exercises which included the Vrikshasana (The Tree Pose, where standing on one foot we bring the other to the inside of our upper thigh), that the terror of childhood – as a felt state – returned. My heart began to race; I began to sweat and couldn’t maintain my balance for longer that twenty seconds. Of even more interest was the fact that my breathing froze. Despite all the insights and, indeed, practice in so many other modalities and situations, here we had the default patterns re-asserting themselves immediately, and with a vengeance…
© 2022 SoberOasis | Patrick Little
