Inventory
Basically, when I am upset, my demands,- often camouflaged as kindly requests, – have not been met. Essentially, I have relapsed into the attitude of `Playing God´. Those demands can be seen as a design for how the world should operate, – according to Patrick, that is…
Befriending Life
I had taken up a stance of resistance to life because things had not been working out as originally envisaged. It seemed that every move of mine was being counter-acted by an invisible opponent who was simply trying to make things as difficult as possible. That, of course, was my Victim Saboteur…
Moderation?
My version of denial sounded like this: Alcoholics are people who drink half a bottle of vodka before getting up in the morning and sleep under bridges and, since I never drank vodka before getting up and only sometimes slept under bridges, where’s the problem?
Magic Thinking
The second verse (There’s a killer on the road….), when interpreted as a description of the addictive dynamic (`suicide by instalments’), sends shivers down my spine. The killer is killing himself and he knows this. The brain is squirming like a toad (this is a great metaphor for `stinking thinking´)…
Initiation
Most of what blocks us from the Spirit is unconscious. A key role of the sponsor is to help me, the candidate, to discover my blind spots – my shadow – so that it can be integrated over time. This can only succeed if the sponsor is prepared to be vulnerable in the sense that she is willing to share her own ongoing shadow work…
Miracles
Some Saboteurs are stealthier than others. It is a characteristic of our human condition to overlook some things in our field of vision. I certainly had. There are always blind spots. This happens due to our innate imperfection. This is neither good nor bad. It is simply the way it is…
Perseverance
To succeed, any transformation process must comprise roughly 20% insights and 80% practice. For this reason, the thrust of the PQ Programme is practice. Full commitment from the outset is required. Wisely accommodating ourselves (surrendering) to what is beyond our control, is the prerequisite for progress. Perseverance is the fuel that keeps us going. Resilience, – ever faster recovery from setbacks, – is the reward. Happiness, in the sense of the fulfilment of our full potential in alignment with our purpose, our passions, and deeply held values, is the outcome…
New Boots
The Inner Critic (Judge) is never satisfied, always chanting the mantra: `I will be happy, when…..´ and that `when´ never comes, of course. The Controller never gives up on trying to dictate the winds rather than allowing us to develop the capacity to surf, and trust, the waves. The Victim keeps telling us that..
Sage Perspective
My life then took a dark turn. Many years were to follow in limbo, spent in the no-man’s-land of clubs and pubs; numbing and self-medication, whereby my feeling got stuffed ever deeper, until the anaesthesia was almost complete. “Lonely, lonely, lonely, lonely; a story with a middle only,” wrote the contemporary Irish poet, Paul Durcan at around that time…
Pessimism
We know that our ability to feel pain is essential. If you touch a hot stove, it’s good to feel pain so you’re alerted to the danger to your body and rapidly remove your hand before lasting damage is caused. Similarly negative emotions like stress, fear, anger, disappointment, guilt, and shame are extremely helpful to alert you that something needs your attention. These are signposts pointing inward, despite our initial conviction that the solutions are to be found `out there´…
